Tony Robbins, take note: How to Fail by Aaron Goldfarb is not your average read.

 “Goldfarb…” you’re thinking to yourself. That name sounds kind of familiar. And you’re right, as he’s best known around these parts as the man behind The Vice Blog, in my opinion one of the most entertaining and provocative beer blogs around. With his first novel, Goldfarb uses his trademark wit to cleverly bring us the world’s first self-hurt guide, a blue print for failure success (emphasis on the blue). The book completely flips the self-help concept on its head, delivering a hilarious account of one man’s ill-fated journey failing his way through every aspect of life. And when I say every aspect, I mean every aspect. From the website:

In How to Fail follow the misadventures, misgivings, and massive mistakes of this satiric novel’s narrator Stu Fish as he tries to find success in 2010 New York. With hilarious chapters such as How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You, How to Fail to Do Something Productive All Day, How to Fail in Love, and How to Fail All the Way to Rock Bottom, and even more ribald “footchapters” such as How to Masturbate at Work, How to Develop an Addiction, How to Get Usurped by Your Girlfriend’s Ex, and How to Acquire the STD That’s Right for You, there’s not an aspect of life How to Fail doesn’t tackle and offer a terrific non-solution for. All of this is delivered in perfect single serving-size chapters for our modern A.D.D. culture more used to reading blog entries on their phone while riding the subway or waiting in line at Subway than in carefully reading a book.

I’d offer an interview with the author himself, but Goldfarb is currently occupied on a book tour bender across the east coast, hitting 30 bars in 30 days to try and wrap as many vices as possible into a month-long period. I’m guessing it’ll make for amusing fodder for his follow-up book, Everything You Wanted to Know About Shitty Atlantic City Bars But Were Afraid to Ask.

So put the kids to bed, grab a beer, and cozy up to a copy of How to Fail. I assure you, it’ll be the most fun you’ve had failing in a long time.